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hold back
i can't say what i wanna say
and i know that
but i rehearse it anyway
every day, as i wake, when i shower, when i shave
i rewrite, i rephrase, i rethink what i'd say

and what i'd say is:

"i know you.
you don't believe in love.
but i'll show you.
this isn't what you're thinking of.
this is something new.
and lord knows i was skeptical, too.

my head tells me this can't be true.
it's a lustful impulse gone askew.
but my heart's been fighting hard for you,
and i can see its point of view.
but with all the feelings i've been through,
there's nothing honest i can do,

but surrender to you.

and then you do whatever feels right to you.
kiss my face and let me comfort you.
or slap it hard and bruise me black and blue.
either way i give this self to you.
and i'm sorry if you didn't want me to,
but i surrender to you."


from Live At Laughing Horse, released September 1, 2013


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The Sarcastic Dharma Society Portland, Oregon

Mat Vuksinich has been making music under the name The Sarcastic Dharma Society, both by himself and with the help of others, since 2003. They can be found writing, recording, and regularly performing in the rainy city of Portland, Oregon.

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