The Sarcastic Dharma Society
Live at Laughing Horse
  • audio

    01. Empathy

    If it's two years since I've seen you, I apologize for leaving
    for not grieving, disappointing you, with reason
    but I swear I did the best with what I had

    If you call me with a cell phone from a bridge when you are seething
    desperation in your breathing, open wounds, unfinished feelings

    is it my fault, what you have done?
    If I've moved on, have I done wrong?
    If you forgive me, will you leave me alone?

    You know I don't expect an understanding
    resolute in your meandering, speaking up to hear yourself
    but don't you guilt my heart with your heartache
    You know even on a great day I can hardly break free from the blankets that shelter me.

    And I know you are sad
    the way we are all sad
    I know that you are lost
    and that you think I am your home
    but I cannot take care of myself
    What would ever make you believe I could care for somebody else?

    Is it my fault, what you have done?
    If I've moved on, have I done wrong?
    If you forgive me, will you leave me alone?

    02. 3am

    I'm biking by your house at 3am
    I told myself I wouldn't, but I am
    I know I should be trying to be a man
    but I'm too busy trying to think of the saddest thing I can

    Like, It's probably warm in there
    Clean pillows and your freshly shampooed hair

    Goddamn it's been an awful year
    I can't believe that I'm still here
    Holy shit, I really thought I would die
    And I've fucked up every thing I've tried

    And you're probably warm in there
    With your new person, and their new hands in your hair

    I'm lying in the grass at 3am
    I don't know what I'm waiting for or where I am
    I've no direction, I have no plan
    but I can't think of a single reason that I should stand

    So I'm watching these clouds blow by the moon
    and I'm trying, or I'm trying not, to think of you

    I can't give up on loving you
    but that's exactly what you want me to do
    I wanna be the one who's loving you
    but you don't want me and there's nothing I can do

    Goddamn this is an awful year
    I can't believe that I'm still here
    And holy shit, I really wanted to die
    But I've fucked up every time I've tried

    And you're probably warm in there
    With your new person in the bed we used to share

    03. Never

    I told you that I would never leave
    and what I told you, I believed

    Who knew you could be wrong
    about your own heart?
    How was I to know you weren't the whole
    but just a small part?

    I am in awe of how hard I must fight
    to hold on to a feeling for more than a night

    04. Surrender To You

    Hold back
    I can't say what I wanna say
    and I know that
    but I rehearse it anyway
    Every day, as I wake, when I shower, when I shave
    I rewrite, I rephrase, I rethink what I'd say

    And what I'd say is:

    "I know you.
    You don't believe in love.
    But I'll show you.
    This isn't what you're thinking of.
    This is something new.
    And lord knows I was skeptical, too.

    My head tells me this can't be true.
    It's a lustful impulse gone askew.
    But my heart's been fighting hard for you,
    and I can see its point of view.
    But with all the feelings I've been through,
    there's nothing honest I can do,

    but surrender to you.

    And then you do whatever feels right to you.
    Kiss my face and let me comfort you.
    Or slap it hard and bruise me black and blue.
    Either way I give this self to you.
    And I'm sorry if you didn't want me to,
    but I surrender to you."

    05. This Fool

    There is no way out of this town
    I've followed every train track and road that I've found
    and they circle round and round
    I'm trapped in this body
    Sad, captive, and sorry
    I want to get out and I wanna find the end
    and sever my ties to the people I've been
    and live a righteous life
    or give a selfless love
    or do whatever a good person does
    to end up in heaven above

    You put your faith into this fool
    Gave him a thousand second chances to start new
    But every time he comes back
    saying he would never do that
    with a thousand selfish reasons
    for the thousand selfish ways
    I will hurt you

    You know that people can't be trusted to be good
    Why would you lie and say that you believed they could?

    So you know that I could be the guy
    who loves you every day until you die
    but I am probably just somebody who will make you cry
    It's more than likely that I might be just a waste of time

    My bones are scarred from things that I've done wrong
    And you will learn to hate my face in time
    And everything that we will ever do
    is everything that we have ever done
    And everything that I will ever say
    I'll say with this song:
    That, what I wanted for you and me
    and what happened to you and me
    are two very different things
    And that difference is the reason every singer sings

    And where does that leave me?
    Hoping no one will ever see
    how worthless I am
  • audio

    01. The Light

    tonight i can see all the stars
    that are dying or dead, or living well fed
    i feel the light from the things that they've said
    as i walk the blocks to where i know you'll be
    and i kick the rocks and look up at the trees
    wondering, "will you remember me?"

    02. The Giving Tree

    what happened to me didn't happen very long
    less than a moment and something else had begun
    and people aren't the same for very long
    and when i hear you've got a new favorite song

    i fall upon my temporary knees
    and i scream "please please please,"
    that, like the giving tree
    i need to be useful to be happy

    i wanna give away my love.
    i wanna give away my love.

    most of what i have i don't deserve
    and the parts that i do aren't very good
    and if i gave this heart another go
    sold this self to someone i hardly know

    i fall upon my temporary knees
    and i scream "please please please,"
    that, like the giving tree
    i need to be useful to be happy

    i wanna give away my love.
    i wanna give away my love.

    what do i believe? what do i think i need?
    what do i believe? what do i think i need?

    03. My War

    like at the end of a war
    we both walk away
    go back to our lives
    pretend we're the same

    and you said, "go home.
    no more war in my heart."
    and left for wherever you are
    by the dawn's early light

    but that was our home
    at the center of that mad mad fight
    now i see i am alone
    by the dawn's early light
    an aimless and endless refrain
    by the dawn's early light
    by the dawn's early light

    04. Our Lives

    and i crawl into bed when i'm not even tired
    pretend it's five hours from now and you're calling to say
    that you're on your way

    and i will be here when you walk through the door
    and i will come running from out from wherever i'm hiding to say,
    "i know that you've had a long day,
    but these are our lives,
    and these are our good times,
    and i love my life--can't believe that it's mine.
    hold my hand, and feel my body,
    forget that i'm sorry, just know that i'm warm.

    05. Moving On

    your oh so tired eyes falling asleep on me
    the movie on pause while i wait when you have to go pee
    will i forget these things and be happy?
    i should have known something that great would eventually leave

    telling you what you said in your sleep
    listening to your stuffy nose breathe
    the way you burnt yourself on every cup of tea
    the moments apart when i knew you were thinking of me
    will i forget these things and be happy?
    i guess i knew something that great would eventually leave

    06. Molly

    i gave away everything that i owned
    all the few posessions and ambitions that i once that were my own
    because i was confronted by the truth about our lives
    that we are here to love each other
    while we have the time

    don't wait, hold my hand
    i give thanks for whatever i have

    and i became a flower because of you
    because of you i give my fragrance
    i learn to walk
    i reach you
    i learn to talk
    i write my song
    and it goes
    "oh, how i love you. oh, how i have loved you."
    when i met you, when i kissed you
    when i followed and when i led
    through the forest, and the desert
    and the softness of our bed
    when we argued, when we forgave
    called each other the same name
    as we grew up, when you gave up
    when you left me, still i sang, that,
    "oh, how i love you. oh, how i have loved you"
  • newplasticlens:


    The Sarcastic Dharma Society
    Live at Laughing Horse


    Reblogged fromthesarcasticdharmasociety | (vianewplasticlens)

    Permalink  |  Reblog  |  20 notes
      |  Posted on Wednesday, July 16 at 6:22pm
  • Show last night was way too much fun. So happy to have all the friends. Thanks everybody. You are the best. (and thanks Alan Cook for the rad photo!) -mat

    Show last night was way too much fun. So happy to have all the friends. Thanks everybody. You are the best. (and thanks Alan Cook for the rad photo!) -mat

    Permalink  |  Reblog  |  6 notes
      |  Posted on Monday, July 14 at 11:33am
  • show tonight! 
    Permalink  |  Reblog  |  4 notes
      |  Posted on Sunday, July 13 at 4:41pm
  • Melee finals at EVO happening right now! Go Axe! Pikachu for the win. #raiseyourpikachus #evo #ssbm #smashbros

    Melee finals at EVO happening right now! Go Axe! Pikachu for the win. #raiseyourpikachus #evo #ssbm #smashbros

    Permalink  |  Reblog  |  2 notes
      |  Posted on Sunday, July 13 at 3:07pm
  • Playing with these dudes at Habesha on Sunday, 9:30pm. Free! First show in a year or so. Come say hi!

    Playing with these dudes at Habesha on Sunday, 9:30pm. Free! First show in a year or so. Come say hi!

    Permalink  |  Reblog  |  3 notes
      |  Posted on Wednesday, July 9 at 4:34pm
  • Portland Community College working to give our children the education they deserve. #heroes

    Portland Community College working to give our children the education they deserve. #heroes

    Post Tags: heroes,
    Permalink  |  Reblog  |  8 notes
      |  Posted on Sunday, July 6 at 12:53am
  • cherry blossom. he’s so hot right now.

    cherry blossom. he’s so hot right now.

    Permalink  |  Reblog  |  2 notes
      |  Posted on Friday, July 4 at 10:29pm
  • Bottle rockets on the roof. #america #happyfourthofjuly

    Bottle rockets on the roof. #america #happyfourthofjuly

    Permalink  |  Reblog  |  3 notes
      |  Posted on Friday, July 4 at 7:47pm
  • Found some “nature”.

    Found some “nature”.

    Permalink  |  Reblog  |  9 notes
      |  Posted on Monday, June 23 at 9:59pm
  • 63 plays

    The Sarcastic Dharma Society
    "Being Around" (by The Lemonheads)

    (i’m just tryin’ really hard…)

    Permalink  |  Reblog  |  3 notes
      |  Posted on Friday, June 20 at 3:34pm
  • just remembered that i played minecraft for a month last year. what the shit? why?

    Post Tags: minecraft,
    Permalink  |  Reblog  |  5 notes
      |  Posted on Thursday, June 19 at 4:25am
  • 73 plays

    you guys know that pedro the lion song “second best”? i’m trying to practice my songs, but my fingers keep getting distracted by the guitar part from “second best”. oh well! just gonna play that instead. whatever.

    Permalink  |  Reblog  |  10 notes
      |  Posted on Monday, June 16 at 8:56pm
  • The Jon Brion Show
    featuring Elliott Smith & Brad Mehldau

    i’ve posted this before, but this video is like the best thing ever. like, every song. my favorite elliott smith recording. watch the whole thing.

    Set list:

    01. Son of Sam
    02. Independence Day
    03. Bottle Up And Explode
    04. Everything Means Nothing to Me 
    05. Waterloo Sunset (The Kinks)
    06. Jealous Guy (John Lennon)
    07. Trouble (Jon Brion)
    08. Nightime (Big Star)
    09. Happiness

    Permalink  |  Reblog  |  59 notes
      |  Posted on Saturday, June 14 at 5:16pm
  • "Oh you are so fantastic, I am oblivious to why you have followed me!"

    because pancakepenis is the best of tumblr usernames. everybody follow this pancake (/penis).

    Post Tags: pancake, penis, pancakepenis,
    Permalink  |  Reblog  |  2 notes
      |  Posted on Saturday, June 14 at 3:44am
  • Slacktivist Fan Entitlement Is Slowly Killing Punk



    June 13, 2014
    by Paul Blest

    One of my favorite things to read on the Internet on a daily basis is the Self Defense Family Tumblr. The band has put out some of my favorite records of the last few years (You Are Beneath Me, Iceland, Try Me, etc.), but on the internet they’re another force altogether; frontman Pat Kindlon and other members of the band field questions from anonymous users on topics ranging from veganism and musical ethos to Christian Bale movies and not wearing a shirt. I don’t claim to agree with everything Kindlon has to say, or even most of it, but he’s honest, fair, and funny.

    Yesterday, I made the mistake of browsing the comment on one of his answers, a brutally honest critique of why punk bands don’t last, considering kids aren’t willing to pay more than $10 for an LP or $5-7 for a show, and saw a response from someone who called it “classism” (complete with a trigger warning) to expect “broke” fans to pay a fair price for a musician’s hard work. Another said that punk is supposed to be “stomped on and dirty,” and that charging more for a show or a record somehow ruins the pure foundations punk was based on. Another cited Converge – Converge – as the model that all bands should follow, after the original question used the band as an example.

    Get fucking real.

    Let’s forget for a second the fact that Converge are one of the most legendary aggressive bands of all time and have put out eight full-lengths, at least five of which are considered hardcore canon, and the fact that someone on the internet apparently thought that building a fanbase like this over the course of twenty-five years is easy to do. Let’s forget that the people from which punk ideals originated bought houses off of $5-15 tickets in the 90s at best, or, at worst, hired a fashion designer to run their band and then made a butter commercial. And let’s also forget that the original person somehow thinks that they are entitled to cheap merch and cheap music, and also that they think it’s “classism” to expect a musician to not be homeless when he or she is not touring. Those are different arguments for a different time.

    On a very, very basic level – this is just rude, on the level of someone who refuses to tip their waiters, waitresses, and bartenders.

    “DIY” punk, for many people, has become less about fighting the corporate rock structure and more about consuming art and goods like shirts and records for as cheap as possible. I get it – I’m broke too. But let’s consider what it takes to make a “DIY” record in 2014, for an averagely popular, decidedly not Converge-level act: in order to get it sounding the best way possible for the least amount of money, you dump $500 into recording, unless you have an incredible hook-up. You have to pay to get it mastered, specifically for vinyl, which we’ll call $300 – again, this is on the low-end scale. The next step is actually getting the thing pressed – you might be lucky enough to get someone to put it out – if you don’t, often it just doesn’t come out on that format, and you have to ride with a cassette/CD and a digital release. Regardless, let’s say you find a label to put it out – to press 500 LPs, with everything included, costs at the very least, $2000.

    So right there, you’re out roughly $2800 for your record. But you have to convince people to buy this $2800 Frisbee, so you have to book a two to four week tour. If you have a job, you have to either convince your boss to let you take off or you have to quit something, either the band or the job. If you have a van, it’s going to need repairs, and it’s a gas guzzler. You need to get a bunch of shirts printed for $100-200 so you have something cheap to sell someone for $10, $12 at most, depending on what kind of brand you get and whether or not you hate your fans by tricking them into wearing Gildan shirts. You’re going to have to deal with 14 different promoters and 14 completely different crowds that may or may not like your stuff depending on the day/style of music you play, or may not even show up. But let’s say you get really, really lucky and your gas money haul averages out to about $50. Sounds pretty sick, right? Except YOU’RE DRIVING A VAN. And it’s a gas guzzler. And there’s four people in the band. And the people at the house you just played/stayed at don’t know that cooking or buying food for bands if they can is a good, nice thing to do.

    Let’s say you sell 50-75 of the records on your 14 day tour. That’s about $750 at most. You’re still out thousands upon thousands of dollars just to do something you love.

    It’s not about capitalism, or classism, or (laughably) adhering to a “corporate model,” or musicians trying to make a quick buck off of their fans. It’s about basic respect for another human that made something that you genuinely get enjoyment out of. If anyone alive in punk rock is adhering to a corporate model, it’s the fan that refuses to pay a fair price for shows, merch, and music. All of the hallmarks are there – benefitting, for the least amount of money, off of someone else’s work. These are sometimes the same people that claim to be “activists” (although their activism often amounts to nothing more than a few tweets) or in favor of workers’ rights, yet pull the same exact shit on bands they love that McDonald’s pulls on their workers, with the only difference being that they justify it with “DIY ideals” rather than corporate profits. The “No Money, Mo’ Problems” article was written by Emily Zemler in 2011 for Alternative Press; in three years, the financial situations for many bands have only gotten worse, and the fans have gotten more entitled.   

    The complete aversion to musicians not being broke is completely unique to the broader punk scene, and it’s a major reason why bands break up after one or two records and then, if they resonated with a lot of people, do a reunion show and pocket more than they ever would have if they had kept making records and touring. At this point, who could blame any band for following this model? When, in 2014, it would not be unheard of for any band to reunite, any band that drew 25-50 people on its best night 10-20 years ago, you know the system is flawed in some way. And cheap ass punk kids are the ones that broke it.

    This isn’t to mention what labels go through to operate; the much discussed Adapt or Die piece for Billboard by Jade Tree’s Darren Walters put into perspective exactly how much has changed since the ‘90s for both bands and labels alike. And still, smaller labels such as Square of Opposition, Count Your Lucky Stars, and Black Numbers continue to invest time and money into virtually unknown bands, willingly going broke to give bands that are even more broke a physical outlet for their music. And larger labels such as Topshelf and Deathwish pump money into well-done, incredible pieces of art that (such as the toe. discography) that, on a good day, sell a quarter of what their top acts do.

    And, for this, the bands and labels get a resounding chorus of “fuck you” from entitled brats who have no problem paying $4 for a drink from Starbucks, $20 for a case of beer, or $1500 for a Macbook, but somehow don’t have the money to throw $10 to a band for a good show or $15 for a record that will last a lifetime. If you really don’t have the money – don’t go. It’s that simple. You can buy the music on Bandcamp for pay-what-you-want and listen to it that way, and practice your mosh in your bathroom mirror a little bit more than the rest of us.

    I’m tired of hearing that punk is dead or dying from “fans” that are actively attempting to kill it. If you think all of the goods and wares you buy should be as cheap as possible, go to Walmart and buy a Train CD. And please, for the love of god - stop calling your bullshit “DIY.”

    i don’t think people are obligated to buy a record or a shirt just because they’re at a show where i’m playing, but i do wish there was something that i could give people in exchange for dollar bills that they wanted enough to pay for. that would be pretty chill. -mat

    Reblogged fromtherunout | (viatherunout)

    Permalink  |  Reblog  |  1,551 notes
      |  Posted on Friday, June 13 at 6:08pm
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